List One: Why I Have Not Shown up Here
School vacation week, Easter dinner, the Marathon, a quilt made using three year olds’ self portraits (between 16 and 20 volunteered hours, all toll), tuxedo rentals and dress shoe shopping (think: PROM), a run to Salem, planting annuals (damn bunnies ate my NEW POPPY), plus the transmutation of excitement about my trip to South Carolina into a feeling that homework is pending (as if I have to have the approximate and shocking number of Africans bought and sold in order to share pictures of Sullivan’s Island — where ‘new imports’ were quarantined prior to being dragged to the auction block).
List Two: Evidence of the Advent of the Super Annoying Sound Season in Newton, Mass
Leaf blowers from 8:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. Saturday (seriously — nearly a complete and continuous wall of sound), Tuesday, power-truck mulch delivery at school behind us (at least two hours, but could have been five — I left the house), Wednesday, power-truck drain clearing that was deviously annoying because the surge of the engine to engage the generator (or whatever it was) sounded exactly like the truck taking off, so I kept thinking it was over when it wasn’t (how long? I don’t know, I went to the library), Thursday, another power-truck drain-related thumper mechanism (also left). Today I woke to the sound of a leaf blower. Sundays SEEM to be days of quiet.
Here’s the good news. I won’t keep complaining (about the leaf blowers anyway, I PROMISE) because my nifty new noise-cancelling headphones really, really work. (I could have stayed home all those days and been okay). They work so well and afford me such peace of mind, that I don’t even care that my husband gave them to me, essentially, to shut me up. That probably won’t work. But maybe I will have to elevate the substance of my complaints — to issues such as the new trend in men’s fashion of pairing brown shoes with grey and black suits?
And speaking of Ryan Seacrest, I am wondering rather too much of the time just how different his hosting style would be if he fully claimed his sexuality?!
List Three: Behaviors of Ryan Seacrest that might change if he were out of the closet: The body-crushing and lifting hugs of male contestants during the city tours; verbal styling like last night, when he told the final three male singers after their performances to “go hang in the lounge”; the recent comments about the sexy back drapes to J.Lo’s dresses (huh?!! Tips from the book, “How to Sound Like a Horny Heterosexual Male”?!).
(Course, don’t get me going on the ridiculous wardrobe choices of J.Lo — a stunning woman with a fantastic shape — wearing shirts posing as dresses. Why? I ask you. Why?! Especially when the stage is elevated, meaning she walks past audience members whose heads are at ankle-level?! At least — (thank God!) — she sits behind a table for the duration of the show (unlike the scores of talk show quests who appear on this show or that and distract shallow viewers like me with their predictable and avoidable struggles to sit decently)).
Star Series. Fooled you! The star series is not about the judges on American Idol!!
After those lists, I doubt I can rehabilitate my reputation as anything even remotely like an artist with something worthwhile to say. I’m in a new care-free phase. This phase has a theme song — (sung to the ole tune about ‘my party’) — “it’s my blog, I can rant if I want to”.
If you are still reading this — I will say that the thing I am really enjoing about this mini star series is the small scale. They are teeny. About half the size of a pot-holder (which reminds me to issue this warning to fiber miniaturists — beware the dimensions of the pot holder!!). It is also fascinating to see what big changes can be created by subtle shifts in texture and color.
Have a great weekend!