Category Archives: winter, spring, summer, fall

Shadows on snow

Maybe to blog more often is to give myself permission to matter on some.

(Ha — Autocorrect wisdom? I meant to say “natter on some”).

Just wore Finn out so I can happily leave him while I go to writing class. The striping shadows of trees pleased me to a ridiculous degree. Look at the colors! Purple, plumbago blue, lavender, and grey. A regular festival for the eyes. And the soul.

Peering out

It is coming down really fast and may turn to freezing rain. Plowing is slower than ideal. Still, it’s just a snowstorm and I don’t quite understand the emergency reverse 911 calls, constant reports, and all the rest.

We walked early and had a hard fetch session at the upper field and then played out back just now too, before I shoveled (arg – is the snow heavy!) I’m down for the count, as my father used to say. Finn would prefer otherwise.

It’s a good day to make revisions to text (today, a chapter covering the hours before the Stono Rebellion, 1739, from the perspective of a bondman) and maybe also to see if I can stomach last night’s recorded CNN special about Putin. For now, eating leftovers and about to watch “Nashville” (she said sheepishly).

Saying no and snow

Two or three inches fell. It felt like a surprise but it shouldn’t have.

It was a week of honoring my basic preferences and screwing up the courage to say ‘no’ in order to do so. One small ‘no’ helped me say a much bigger ‘no’ a few days later.

Both refusals created a feeling of spaciousness and relief. Confirming feelings.

Itchy ambivalence can usually be resolved in favor of one’s own need, experience, and felt sense of the world. To not do so is to stay itchy.

Pretty basic, especially for a sixty year old, but it’s amazing (and common?) how quickly clarity can be clouded by others’ needs or by anxiety about self assertion.

I don’t need to say more now. Just this: it was a week to remember that I bought my first book from Shambala press in 1973. I still have that volume (by Chogyam Trungpa) 43 years later, which is really saying something — do you know how many books didn’t make the cut?

What happens to you when you don’t honor your basic preferences and how do you course correct?

Bitterly cold here again today and I hear that more snow is on the way.

Have a great weekend!

Hermine Wind

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It’s a fluttering, gusty wind out there right now. Not remotely hurricane-like, but noticeable and vigorous. As the light faded, we ate lobster outside to celebrate C’s degree afterall. A really big blast of wind nearly launched the umbrella off the deck. Rain spattered a few times, but we are waiting, waiting, waiting for a drenching downpour. They said Saturday. They said Sunday. Here it is Labor Day and still no rain.

I’m not complaining. The Vineyard is largely without power. Parts of Nantucket and the South Shore, too. No, I’m just waiting for the rain.
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The weekend is nearly over and I somehow feel that it will be hard to get oriented to the new week, the new month, the new season. I hope not. With both K and C traveling this month and my schedule with my sister in flux, the real ballast will be writing.
deemallon_selfWriting, writing, and more writing! And trying to stick to my weight loss or maintenance program. The honeymoon is definitely over.

Heat AC politics

Been living as if in a cocoon. The AC on. The surreal RNC. The pumped up DNC. Some watched live, some delayed. Constant watering of the garden and things wilting anyhow. Dog walks in heat blasted air, crossing from one side of the street to the other trying to afford poor Finn’s paws the most shadowed route. Writing daily.

The heat’s broken and maybe this thick silence too.

A couple lunches out and one trip to the Museum of Fine Arts. I won’t tell you how many things fucked up while K. was in Korea (think: wiring and plumbing) or all the things I am worrying about. Let me just say, I am glad to have this body and this life. 

Just Tuesday

An early run to Salem meant traffic around the Turnpike exit. The usual. It baffles me every time how the left hand passing lane slows down while the middle and far right lanes do not, even though the stream of cars merging onto the highway are coming from the right. Does anybody understand that?

After a good effort with clutter, my sister and I ate subs from the corner shop. This shadow of a notice in reverse on the bench where I sit to wait for the order caught my eye. Had I sat on it before? Right after I got back to Nor’s, a front moved in, pounding the sidewalk with rain and regaling us with thunder. I can’t tell you how grateful I was that only the heavens let loose this morning, leaving human drama for another day. There’s been a little too much human drama of late. Seriously too much.The rain stopped by the time I headed out.

Do you see Finn’s nose?

The rain we got over the weekend helped the garden start its June show. I wish I had a pile of mulch on the driveway more than I wish I had a decent haircut. Enough said. 
I am enjoying the freedom to stitch whatever I want. Perhaps a male warrior standing on a distant planet is an odd choice. He caught my eye years ago and was incorporated into one of the two Sketchbook Projects that I participated in (you can see the entire Sketchbook here). For some reason I keep going back to these images — maybe because they addressed transitions in the boys’ lives and the boys’ lives are in transition again.

This Sketchbook page came with the question: “What borders will you defend?” The figure came from an ad promoting the video game “Lost Planet”.

I’ve been alternating between pinning scraps to the board and then pinning the scraps to a base cloth for sewing. Having used this method before and been frustrated when it came time to trim away the base, I’m happy I remembered to leave the edges unstitched.



I love the sky and the snow and even the figure, but wish the figure was “mine”.  Such is the life of a magazine collagist.

Cold and traffic

A little warmer today but not much. Honestly I’m getting sick of it. Traffic up and back to Salem was bad on Monday, making the total commute two full hours. My sister has responded well to a cortisone shot in her knee, but still isn’t walking. At least she sat up for a portion of the visit. Here at home, we are still working on getting C. organized — both physically (all his stuff!) and emotionally (lots of changes to go through). I finished the Hearts for Charleston quilt last night and took a ton of pictures this morning. I’ll have to do so again though because the light wasn’t great and fully 50% of the shots were out of focus. The morning found our computer updating to Windows 10 and nobody knows why. I didn’t want it. K didn’t say ‘yes’ to it and C doesn’t use this PC. Weird. Creepy, even. That made getting Photoshop up and running a lengthy ordeal (only to find 138 out of 264 photos out of focus). Not a good day for tools, here. Not sure what it’s a good day for.