Tag Archives: poem

Accidental beauty

Accidental Beauty

Look at the clipped grasses! The curb with its
divets. Tell me, could the ribbons of tar
shining in the midday sun be
any more gorgeous?

I’m waiting
for the light to turn, for the grey
hulk of hospital to leave the rearview —
waiting for the return of things
or the start of them, or even the
end.

Impatience is a surly thief!

And, shopping, a deficient religion.
I should have known better.
By the time I arrive,
the capris of summer are picked over.

Meanwhile, my sister’s heart flutters
in uncertain alarm and children
dead from cholera in Yemen pile up,
200, 300.
Somehow, I’m alive and shopping for pants.

In the swanky interior, the clack of my sandals
on the polished geometry stirs
sorrow. How it is these days.
“This is it,” my shoes percuss. “This is it.”

Going one place to another, you are never
anywhere but here.

Impatience acts the rude interloper
while uncertainty takes you to your knees.

Later, but not much, I slap my notebook
on the shiny ebon surface of a grand piano
and pull a pen out of my hair. One of
two. There, in the sunlit atrium, a prop of luxury
holds my weight. To one side, the familiar
bronze statue of girl and dog and to the other,
an absence I can’t get used to even though
the beloved fountain’s been gone for years.

(All those pennies tossed and wishes made
two little tow-heads at my side —
where are they now — pennies, wishes, and
boys turned brown-haired men?)

Regret followed far enough
takes you to love.

The Tiffany’s clerk paces
behind jewel-filled cases, not sure
what to make of a woman writing in fury
in the middle of the morning, in the middle of
the atrium and where did
that notebook come from anyway?

the ribbons of tar, the cement divets
polished geometry, regret,
bronze.

Oh tissue first, silver medallion next and finally,
the tasteful grey bag. The clerk chirps
“Have a good day of shopping,” even as
my ribs smolder about to combust, one hour
being thirty minutes too long.

How much time do we have? Ever?

Tick. Tick. Swipe. Delete.

How much time do we have
to be kind, to be kind,
to preserve the republic?

Fairness gone amok in every quarter
makes a girl want to cry —
even a girl who never cries.
No wonder the ordinary sound
of sandals clacking on
polished tile calls out, “Wake up!
This is it!” rattling up a
ferocious grief twinned
with gratitude.

“These are no ordinary times.” Say.
Repeat. Do nothing. The acts
held in reserve depend on gross
miscalculations of risk — as if we
have time and time and more time?

Tick. Tick. Delete. Swipe.

Regret followed far enough
leads to damnation.

Would the clerk in Tiffany’s understand
why a woman wails in the bathroom
corridor given our collective failure
or would she choose not to hear?

You lean your frantic frame against the
silent instrument, hoping to leave
behind more than the echoes of impatience
or a sweaty hand print that the cleaners
will have to buff off later.

Let me be kind. Let me speak up. Let
me pause long enough
to give thanks.

Regret expressed deeply enough always
turns into prayer.

The ribbons of tar, the polished geometry,
vanished pools and children, wishes
gathered and held in regions unknown.




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Done, done, done

A ditty from a prompt in class this week. “Peas and the rice done, done, done” comes from a song sung by bondmen and women during the age of slavery.

Speckle, spackle lint
Globe, orb, light
Star prick, potato cut – Fie!
Cookie cutter, duster buster —
IMG_7148
Done. Peas and the rice,
done, done, done.

In the dark, we tag along in
ignorant clumps. Safety
in numbers? One arm
finds a rail, a toe stubs
rock. “Ho there!”
A single organism, we turn.

Out on the deck early, a
powdery blue sky offers its
solace — beauty
that can be referred to again

and again, lasting and constant.

Except it’s not
lasting. Or constant.

Look how swiftly the clouds
cover the setting and
glorious moon — in the short interval
it took you to dash inside for your camera.

view-from-bed

What happens when the shifting
markers of beauty verge
toward extinction, not merely sway
and decay with time?

“Ho! There! Ho!” No one
corrects course. The inevitable crash
sparks discussion, as if pinpointing the
cause of the wound trumps all other action.

In this season of cold, shattered bones and
bruises are nothing next to damnation.
Who knew lying would win
the hearts and minds of so many?

Sprinkle, dash, salt and mire.
Blood stream, character, impossible glow.
Peas and the rice, done, done, done.

Catastrophic, relentless capture
of the future: too swift to
block; too pervasive to illuminate.
It threatens to be so cold, there
are warnings.

The party lanterns bob and strain on the deck
rail, hanging, forgotten, so long
past their June flings. Remember June?

The moon hangs like a darling,
punctuating the morning with
soft, ridiculously sweet loveliness.

Just above the eave – “Ho! There!”

She runs inside for her camera, but it’s too late. The grey fuzz of
cloud shoved by a cold, cold
wind has changed everything.

She missed the moon
but caught a dream of power — a friend gathering her skirts to make an entrance. Stately. Invested. Prepared. She will
study everything, consider all the
players, account for the force of history. Seventy years of wisdom coming to bear.

Such a dream!

Mighty beech. Singular gate.
Ho there! The icy air seeps
through the window frame.

IMG_8206

In the kitchen, you watch the
tiny grain moths zig-zag
against their doom.  Slap. Slap.

The dog pants beside the fire.
Dots and dabs of light on the festive tree
blur after you take off your glasses,
offering another version of pretty.
Remember Wallace Stevens
trying to decide which to prefer:
the blackbird’s cry or just after?

As if calibrating how much reality you can stomach is anything like weighing
the relative beauties of music and silence!

poppy-egyptian-close
We slide into a
Bosch painting – celebrities being eaten by plants,
destroyers appointed to protect, eggs sprouting legs. Babies cry all the way
from Aleppo. We are
cursed and lack the explaining mythology.
Stab, slice, potato cutter — fie!
How quaint a cut to the finger. Apply pressure,
glue and presto — no more blood.

There goes the moon, behind its periwinkle
shroud. Time feels a foe this season.
Arctic air whips up its icy announcements
and someone, somewhere takes it as proof
that everything is as it always was.

Who will measure the cold and with what instruments
after they round up the scientists?
They’ll say: ‘Study moles and circuits. Or lumps of coal.’

“Ho there!” How about darkness? Make
a chart that nobody will believe
and store it somewhere in Canada.

The money will disappear along
with the truth, so button up.

“Ho there! Ho.” We smile and drink. We bundle up. We exchange
sweets and trinkets while frigid air sweeps down from the north.

So, go ahead – dream of power
or dream of extinction. Dream of
capturing the moon with your

bare hands. But when you wake,
with thermal underwear and corrective lenses on, gather your skirts and make an entrance. Somewhere. And speak.

“Ho there. Ho” Peas and the rice
done, done, done.

Deirdre, An Ancient Irish Tale

This is a retelling of the ancient Irish story of Deirdre. I’ve hewed to the tale in places and departed in others. To read the real thing, refer to the wonderful translation by Thomas Kinsella, in “The Tain”. I was named after her.

Deirdre

In the early dark, her feet fluttered hard, making her mother burp with contentment. Or was it indigestion?

Two weeks before birth and already Deirdre was kicking up a ruckus!

The local Druid stopped by. (Druids never just stop by).

“There is no reason I can name,” he said, “which is not the same as having no reason.”

News of this one and that one — he was a genealogist, after all, as well as bard and soothsayer. Clearly, he dilly-dallied, waiting for a sign.

She glanced out. Early February and already the hills greened up. Clouds made grey royal and scudded. You could almost taste the rain coming.

In spite of his obfuscation, she wanted to pull watercress from the spring ’round back in his honor. He’d get the drift. And its peppery brightness would be good with the sweet potatoes already roasting in the fire.

Here’s how he got his sign.

Imagine now: the swollen ankle of a woman with child stepping over the threshold to run around back for some bitter greens.

And then, Deirdre screaming. Deirdre screaming at the precise moment her mother was neither fully inside, nor fully outside.

Who knew wombs carried sound like that?!

The Druid raised an eyebrow. Just the one. He might have clucked his tongue, too. “We all know what that means.”

Deirdre’s mother didn’t, in fact, have any idea what that meant. She was frozen. Should she step all the way out or step back in?  Fear or something else prickled her scalp.

“I shall return,” the Druid said, nudging past.

She stepped out. “Don’t they all say that?”  The grass was alive with waiting for the rain, she and the clouds so full.

And then the little one came.

Deirdre’s tiny head emerged plastered with dark hair, and not an hour past, he showed up. Druids know things. He made the King’s claim.

Little did they know of the carnage that would ensue.

“‘Tis nothing to make promises,” her mother whispered later. “The King wants you! Well, ha! I’d like to be Queen of the Sidhe!”

King Conchobor bundled them off to a small hut, far from any village or crossroads. Deirdre’s mother missed her watercress and how the light shone in the basin of water by the spring.

She watched her daughter blossom into a dark beauty. “The King thought he could hide this?!” she scowled.

With hair the color of a raven’s wing, lips as red as blood on new fallen snow, and skin as pearly as a winter moon, Deirdre’s beauty was inescapable.

There weren’t just cattle roaming about, mind. There was the cow herder, too.

Noisu traveled up and down the valley with the herd. He was no clod of dirt to look upon!! He had warm brown eyes, beautiful hands, and skin bronzed by the sun. The work made him more than sturdy.

And, he wasn’t blind.

Deirdre’s mother was no fool, so she did not forbid his coming ’round, nor Deirdre’s stepping out.

Besides there was only silence from the King.

Noisu heard things in the treetops and by the meandering cricks and in the cows’ gentle lowing. He knew when the King’s army was coming and why.

So into the woods they ran, eating nuts and berries and outwitting the soldiers for many a season.They tore at each other’s backs on beds of moss and ate the occasional roasted salmon.

Deirdre’s mother prayed for the pair.

Even the best trackers couldn’t hunt them down.

Until one day they did.

Talk about sorrow!

Men came to the lovers’ aid and battles ensued. But never mind that. As with so many things, only the final moments mattered.

First, they slit Noisu’s throat. They slit Noisu’s throat right in front of Deirdre. The soldiers were all about economy, pleased to get their slaying and their torture in one fell swoop.

Then, they wrenched a sobbing Deirdre off the ground, her lover’s blood spattered on her tunic, and pinned her in the chariot.

“The King’s been waiting for you,” the driver crowed and leered. And then leered and snorted.

Deirdre wouldn’t have it.  After all, two can play the card of Death. She wriggled herself free and before the charioteer could do a thing about it, launched herself out and dashed her head upon the rocks, leaving brains splattered for the crows to eat later.

The King would not be pleased.

Deirdre’s mother sat by the fire many a night after that, having known the exact moment Deirdre died.  She’d be knitting or not knitting and wishing that the night could hold her down in something other than a cold embrace.

Fire and Water – a poem

IMG_3516Fire and Water

Well then imagine the delight
A celebration of their leaving
A real washing gladness
Fluttering wings to spray water there
Unsought, unbidden, unforced
The rightness of their leaving

To overcome the changes,
how the glow highlights a cheek.
All these years
the beach-tired kids pile rocks in a ring

I marshal scant stores of optimism

Under the hawthorn tree
amid spaded greenery
a real washing gladness
unsought, unbidden, unforced.
There, in the bowl, a celebration of light,
a robin! Dusty grey wings
underslung by its carroty-rust breast
The ancient sway of the elements.

Wood lath strapping criss-
crossed. I leave,
to flick off flood lamp, retreating.
The fire takes.
Ageless hypnotic source
softening ribcage, relaxed gaze,
setting down of worry
communal, together by fire
mammals through and through
on the verge of everything.

The seated shadowed young, facing
a crackle. More crackles.
Retreating. I did not expect
to be taken up
ever so needed as it happened
soon to be gone.
Busy but not busy enough
To drive up. His list: clip-on fan,
shower tote. An invitation
to the ancient sway of the elements.

I don’t try to read their expressions
all the things I’ve wanted to do
a place hung together by tired kids
a setting down of worry – remind
me – ascendancy to the deeper
ageless fire, softening of ribcage
evenings and the briny refreshment
The driveway, the shoes in the bin
boy/manhood that over spills
water on a sunny day
on a whim in the front garden
the large glass bowl
its delight flapping,
unsought, as it happened
Scant stores of resolve. Remind me
please. The fire takes. Mammals
through and through
Grass scraped from the center
Kids pile rocks in a ring
The fire takes
Cerebral connections lose to
the deeper sway of the elements.

I don’t try to read their relaxed
gaze. The fire crackles,
highlights a cheek, a place,
a chair appears. His list: a clip-on fan,
A shower tote.
Hunks of citrine and rose quartz
for his new life
cause me to trip
well then imagine the delight
a real washing gladness
unsought, unbidden, unforced
to drive up the next morning and see
boy/manhood wings
signature breast, fluttering wings
The rightness of their leaving
The quiet that will follow
Under the hawthorn
amid the long-spaded greenery
A deduction in other words
dropped, to be taken up, imagine!
An invitation to all the things
I’ve wanted to do –
flick off the flood lamps
setting down of worry
together by fire.

Along the side, he gathers his
things.
A shower tote, a hunk of citrine.
Trip. Worry. Chant. Overcome
the changes fluttering wings
the quiet that will follow
criss-crossed scraped shadowed
unforced red-knotted beads
count them, remind me please, all
the things I’ve wanted to do?
As if the nervous system
ever so needed, a washing gladness
I marshal a wiggle of fire, peer
out the glass, how the glow
highlights a cheek plane
Ascendancy. Their being on
the verge of everything.

the guysWhile it’s true that Toy Story Three will make a parent on the edge of the empty nest cry, I took some satisfaction when this unpolished response to a prompt made someone in my writing circle cry.